Dirty Laundry
by syntax glory
Summary: After ordering a new washer and dryer, Raven explains to Starfire how to do the laundry.


Disclaimer: Teen Titans is not mine nor do I lay any claims to it.

Author's Notes: I was just going to write the scene itself but it would've been awkward. Explanation at the end. The characters are OOC most likely. You know, now that I read it over, it's not as funny as it seemed in my head. I'll probably take it off but I just wanted to see the reception for my first TT fic so I know what to work on.

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**DIRTY LAUNDRY**_  
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It was the big day, and Raven was patiently sitting on the sofa with her eyes glued to the main door. Not even Beast Boy's lame jokes, suggestions for tofu meals or invitations to play video games could get to her now.

What made it all the more curious was the fact that only Raven seemed to know what was going on. Well, of course, considering how she was the only one sitting there expectantly. Starfire was more or less joining in on this "glorious day of ant-eee-sip-ashun" by default, sitting alongside the empath, though she did wonder what exactly was so glorious when it was but an ordinary day so far. Cyborg was too busy tinkering with his precious T-Car to care, Beast Boy was sprawled across the floor playing solo games and Robin was training.

Suddenly the doorbell rang, and with a spring in her step, Raven jumped up to answer it.

In the doorframe stood a middle-aged deliveryman in a brown uniform, holding some mechanical device. Next to him on the ground were two gargantuan boxes that reached his hip. "Delivery for a… Raven Roth, of the Teen Titans?" He called out in a bored voice.

Beast Boy's elfin ears perked up. When he got a look at the two hulking brown boxes, his jaw dropped. "What the hell did you order Raven?"

"A washer and dryer," she answered with a small grin on her face.

Starfire's green eyes lit up with curiousity. "Oh! What is this washer and dryer that you speak of? Is it perhaps some new method of cleaning oneself, like the tub of baths?"

"Yes Star," Raven replied as she signed for the delivery.

"Do you need me to bring the boxes in?" The deliveryman asked grudgingly.

"Ye—" As the word was about to leave Raven's lips, Beast Boy morphed into a gorilla and hauled in the boxes, one at a time. Raven blinked while the astounded deliveryman stared. "Thanks Beast Boy." She remarked surprisedly.

Beast Boy morphed back into himself. "No problem. Now tell me why you ordered a washer and dryer? And where did you get the money!"

"It's stupid to order new uniforms each time your old ones get dirty. Over time, these will pay for themselves," Raven explained while she patted the boxes affectionately. "And in case Cyborg or Robin haven't informed you yet, Jump City's government pays for our bills in exchange for our crime-fighting."

"Duuuude, so I could totally order that new GameStation X5000 coming out next year!" Beast Boy crowed.

"The government is not going to spring for your frivolous purchases. Don't waste what little money we have for spending." Raven grumbled.

"Oh friend Raven, may we partake in this delightful ritual of the washing and drying of our uniforms?"

"Sure Star. Just go ask Robin he has any clotheshe needs to get cleaned and then bring all your dirty laundry down to the basement. Beast Boy, you too." With that she began chanting. "Azareth Metrion Zinthos, Azareth Metrion Zinthos." The boxes were then surrounded in black energy and followed Raven as she descended the stairs to the basement.

With a flick of the switch, the light went on, lighting up the cavernous expanse. Carefully Raven removed the packaging from the machines and once again used her magic to bring them closer to the wall against the pipes. After flipping through the manual she connected the various parts of the machines. Within ten minutes, she had set up the two porcelain machines.

Starfire came down, carrying a large pink basket filled with her purple uniforms, Beast Boy's uniforms, and Robin's tri-colored ones along with their normal street clothes. Raven stifled a giggle. Each time she saw Robin in his uniform, she couldn't help but laugh. Didn't he know he looked silly like a walking traffic light? Privately she believed the Titan leader was colorblind but figured that even then, he should've known what colors his uniform was. After all, what kind of person willingly walked around like an advertisement for art supplies?

"Friend Raven, where are your uniforms and clothes that are to be washed then dried?"

"Coming," Raven said in her usual monotone and within a minute, her dirty clothes were in a pile by the washer.

Starfire cocked her head. "How do we begin this process of washing and drying?"

"First Star, we need to sort our clothes. Do you have anything in light colors like white or pink?"

"I do not believe that my pink dress counts as light, for it is of a most glorious shade of pink!" The Tameranian said, holding up a hot pink sleeveless dress.

"Okay, then all our clothes can be washed together since they're in dark colors like black or navy. We can't wash light and dark clothes together because then the colors may transfer." Raven explained patiently.

Starfire nodded in understanding. "Yes, this transfer of my hot pink will not look nice upon someone's white clothing. It would be most heartless!"

"Anyway it's easy to do laundry. After you've sorted the clothes by color, you then just put them in the washing machine. But always make sure to check the pockets for anything, because if someone left a napkin or pen, the whole load will become a mess."

The girls worked in comfortable silence, placing various articles of clothing into the washing machine. Raven then decided to root around for the laundry detergent and fabric softener she had recently bought, and hovered to the shelves where various things were stored.

"Friend Raven, what is this scrap of fabric?" Starfire asked curiously, holding something.

Raven did not answer nor look down, as she now searched for an elusive detergent scoop. "Just chuck it into the machine Star."

"But how do you wear this? I do not understand where it goes upon a body. However it does not belong to me so I shall not try it." The red-haired girl said in amusement, examining the article from various angles.

Raven sighed. "Let me see Star—OH MY GOD! PUT THAT AWAY!" She screeched in shock, and lost concentration momentarily. The large bottle of laundry detergent teetered then fell off the shelf. Starfire was too surprised at Raven's sudden movement to catch it, and the bottle fell with a heavy thud, bright blue detergent spilling quickly on the floor. The commotion drew the absent male Titans save for Cyborg who was still in the garage with his baby.

"What happened?" Robin asked sharply. "Did someone get hurt?"

"Was the boogie monster hiding?" Beast Boy cackled, and was rewarded with a dirty sock smushed in his face. He recoiled, yelling slightly. Looking up, he then caught sight of what Starfire held delicately in her left hand, a violet thong. He began laughing uncontrollably. "HAHAHAHAHAHAH… It's a thong! Raven wears thongs!"

The empath blushed furiously as she snatched away the offending article and hastily threw it into the washing machine. Her cheeks burned with humiliation. "Azareth Metrion Zinthos…"

"What are thongs?" Starfire asked innocently, confused by her friends' actions. Raven had her hood pulled up, conveniently covering her mortified facial expression. Robin had a contorted look upon his face, as if he was trying his best not to burst out laughing. Beast Boy was rolling on the floor, heartily chuckling.

"They're underwear Star," Robin said quickly, keeping his eyes away from the thong still in Starfire's hand.

"Beast Boy, shut _up_," Raven said dangerously, her eyes glowing with promise of disembowelment. The changeling quickly quieted, though he wore a knowing smirk on his face.

"Friend Raven, why do you wear thongs and not the wear of under like I do? Is this one of the many aspects of girl talk in which we discuss clothes and make-up and parties of slumber?"

"Yes Star," Raven gritted out. She shot a dirty look at Beast Boy who then hastily ran out the basement. She turned to look at Robin who took it as a cue to leave, which he did very gladly. Once the two boys were out of earshot, Raven sighed. "I wear thongs to prevent… visible panty lines," she murmured embarrassedly. "You can't wear a leotard and have to worry about people seeing your underwear through it while fighting."

"Oh! Should I wear these thongs?" Starfire glanced carefully at the underwear she held. "It looks most uncomfortable."

"You get used to it," the other girl said dryly. "Now can we please stop talking about my dirty laundry and finish loading up the washing machine?" In pregnant silence, the two girls finished loading the washer. "After you've loaded everything, make sure the door is firmly shut. When you close the door you should hear a firm click." Seeing the nod, she continued. "Pour one cup of detergent into this slot, and then one cap of fabric softener into that one. Then you turn the knob and the washer starts."

"After our clothes are washed, how will they be dried?"

"You'll see later. Let's go, the clothes will be done in forty minutes."

The two Titans flew up the stairs and into the den where suddenly they were bombarded with music. Beast Boy grinned devilishly from where he stood by the stereo as the "Thong Song" came blasting out through every speaker in the tower.

Raven's eyed glowed murderously and with an atypical battle cry, she went after the changeling who then began running. "I'll have your green hide for this, I'll kill you!"

Starfire turned to an equally blank Robin and wondered, "All this over underwear?"

Amidst the strains of music, shouts could be heard as Beast Boy tried to outrun and outmaneuver the raging empath on his tail.

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Author's Notes: I originally intended to write only the funny part where Starfire learns what thongs are but it wouldn't have meshed well if all the Titans had all had laundry chores and never chanced upon Raven's choice of underwear. Now that I see it, it would've been a very short fic. It's not very funny is it? Oh well, humor was never a strong point in writing for me. Into the world of oblivion you will go soon : 


End file.
